Spotted over at Aziz Ansari's blog.
Back in the 1990s, Arsenio Hall was the shit! This was recorded around 1994 when Arsenio had some protesters from a gay rights organization. They were disrupting the show because they felt that Arsenio Hall refused to have guests on his show because of their sexual preference. This was at the height of his popularity when there were rumors of his relationship with his best friend Eddie Murphy.
STEPHEN REDHEAD
ANTI-HERO
Monday, August 9, 2010
I'm Not a Bad Person
Basically, the last few months have been quite an interesting turn in my life. Because of these situations, I've looked at life slightly different and my attitude has been affected in my interactions with friends, family, and business partners. I would like to take the time to apologize as I get myself together and iron everything out. Let me explain what's going on briefly...
I have (or what I used to have) what I would like to call a "Kinda-Sorta". She's a woman who's not your girlfriend, but damn sure acts and very well could be, but we have not figured out if we would pursue being friends or otherwise. This is a woman that I've known for years since my time in college. She's shy, enthusiastic, pretty, and interesting. Everytime I come into the city, I'm greeted with open arms by her. I take her out to dinner, she feeds me my own food in her mouth, she sits on my lap at times, we play around, etc. I show a lot of interest, but we're just Kinda-Sortas. There is no definite title. So, about a week or so ago, I leave out to go to the bar with a few of my friends to get twisted and do ridiculously hilarious things (as always the plan on a weekend). I reach there and I see my Kinda-Sorta, drunk and giggly at the bar. I find this strange, simply because she's a homebody that never goes out to do something like get drunk....not to mention, she was with another dude. I chose to talk with her the next day about it, and she basically said that she didn't even know that we were "talking" to begin with. This is where the Kinda-Sorta title turns into bullshit. I feel that once you put food in my mouth on a one-on-one dinner date, it pretty much says everything. But then again, how can I be mad? There's no title!! She's still a good friend, but it made me learn something:
I have to be more direct with people, or I will get played.
Pretty simple to remember, right? So I thought...
Earlier this week, I had to travel over to New York to pick up my bags of clothes from my aunt's house while riding with my dad. Through a LONG story, I had to pick up the clothes because I was being "subliminally" kicked out of the apartment due to a situation where I brought a friend over to the place for a business meeting while she was out of town. She subliminally and constantly told her sister that there's "so many bags in the room" and the idea that her granddaughter was going to move into the room for her next semester at college. Turns out, the granddaughter's not even GOING to move in to the room! Surprise, surprise. Picking up the clothes from her apartment is not the thing that got me upset; I mean c'mon, it's not MY apartment. But I thought it was funny that she had not once told me to pack up my shit out of the apartment at all, or even told me about the bags being a hazard. Due to the situation from beforehand, I'm looked at by the majority of my aunts and uncles as the irresponsible nephew who betrays trust and hangs with potential drug dealers and criminals (where did that come from??).
So, on top of my uncle being seriously diagnosed with cancer and my home studio equipment being reduced to a piece of shit on tinfoil, my attitude had drastically changed to being a more assertive person. I've sat down at this very laptop every day writing new music, emailing songs to officials, doing any & every show that I can get a slot in, texting & emailing my constituents in regards to getting my music into lucrative deals, and also trying to use the stupid equipment to send rough drafts of new ideas I've developed that makes me sound like I lived in Osama Bin Ladin's cave for 6 years.
However, I do understand that all of these unfortunate things happen for a reason, and it's all just a phase as a part of life that I have to continue to make myself a better person, and even better "hustler". I don't like to use the term "hustle" because what I do is perfectly legal and my product is not given away aimlessly. I take pride in my work and I owe it to everyone who reads this blog to be entertained with quality. In this current industry, I feel that you deserve that much. Please bare with me to everyone that I may have made upset, annoyed, or frustrated due to my behavior.
I'm not a bad person.
I have (or what I used to have) what I would like to call a "Kinda-Sorta". She's a woman who's not your girlfriend, but damn sure acts and very well could be, but we have not figured out if we would pursue being friends or otherwise. This is a woman that I've known for years since my time in college. She's shy, enthusiastic, pretty, and interesting. Everytime I come into the city, I'm greeted with open arms by her. I take her out to dinner, she feeds me my own food in her mouth, she sits on my lap at times, we play around, etc. I show a lot of interest, but we're just Kinda-Sortas. There is no definite title. So, about a week or so ago, I leave out to go to the bar with a few of my friends to get twisted and do ridiculously hilarious things (as always the plan on a weekend). I reach there and I see my Kinda-Sorta, drunk and giggly at the bar. I find this strange, simply because she's a homebody that never goes out to do something like get drunk....not to mention, she was with another dude. I chose to talk with her the next day about it, and she basically said that she didn't even know that we were "talking" to begin with. This is where the Kinda-Sorta title turns into bullshit. I feel that once you put food in my mouth on a one-on-one dinner date, it pretty much says everything. But then again, how can I be mad? There's no title!! She's still a good friend, but it made me learn something:
I have to be more direct with people, or I will get played.
Pretty simple to remember, right? So I thought...
Earlier this week, I had to travel over to New York to pick up my bags of clothes from my aunt's house while riding with my dad. Through a LONG story, I had to pick up the clothes because I was being "subliminally" kicked out of the apartment due to a situation where I brought a friend over to the place for a business meeting while she was out of town. She subliminally and constantly told her sister that there's "so many bags in the room" and the idea that her granddaughter was going to move into the room for her next semester at college. Turns out, the granddaughter's not even GOING to move in to the room! Surprise, surprise. Picking up the clothes from her apartment is not the thing that got me upset; I mean c'mon, it's not MY apartment. But I thought it was funny that she had not once told me to pack up my shit out of the apartment at all, or even told me about the bags being a hazard. Due to the situation from beforehand, I'm looked at by the majority of my aunts and uncles as the irresponsible nephew who betrays trust and hangs with potential drug dealers and criminals (where did that come from??).
So, on top of my uncle being seriously diagnosed with cancer and my home studio equipment being reduced to a piece of shit on tinfoil, my attitude had drastically changed to being a more assertive person. I've sat down at this very laptop every day writing new music, emailing songs to officials, doing any & every show that I can get a slot in, texting & emailing my constituents in regards to getting my music into lucrative deals, and also trying to use the stupid equipment to send rough drafts of new ideas I've developed that makes me sound like I lived in Osama Bin Ladin's cave for 6 years.
However, I do understand that all of these unfortunate things happen for a reason, and it's all just a phase as a part of life that I have to continue to make myself a better person, and even better "hustler". I don't like to use the term "hustle" because what I do is perfectly legal and my product is not given away aimlessly. I take pride in my work and I owe it to everyone who reads this blog to be entertained with quality. In this current industry, I feel that you deserve that much. Please bare with me to everyone that I may have made upset, annoyed, or frustrated due to my behavior.
I'm not a bad person.
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